


3-in-1 body wash

by XIIIBlackCatXIII



Series: The Magnus Archives shorts [8]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Theyre soft because im gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XIIIBlackCatXIII/pseuds/XIIIBlackCatXIII
Summary: Jon makes bad life decisions, but at least Martin's there to help.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Series: The Magnus Archives shorts [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689514
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	3-in-1 body wash

**Author's Note:**

> Its 3am and I just finished writing this n im doin it all on mobile dont b mean 2 me-

"I went away for a  _ weekend,  _ Jon." 

Martin's stern voice cut through Jon's reading concentration, and he looked up from his book with slight confusion lining his face, "I… know?" He offered, pushing his glasses back from where they'd been sliding down his nose.

"Two and a half days, Jon." Martin stood in the doorway of the bedroom, arms crossed, face as stern as his voice, illuminated by the bedside lamp and the weak light of the bathroom from down the hallway. He had a towel in hand although his hair wasn't wet, so Jon didn't think he'd bathed yet.

"Yes, I don't think I've forgotten the passage of time yet." Jon put a scrap of paper in his book to mark the place, making sure it stuck out the top, and put it down on his duvet covered lap.

He was scrambling to think back to that morning, when Martin had arrived home from his camping trip with one of his work friends (he has far too many to remember which is which, and which it is that likes camping or fishing or hiking or whatever other activities Martin has planned with them, although he supposed he'll have to learn when he goes on the less physically exerting trips with them. He should probably start making a list.), and when Martin had arrived home, he'd greeted him, right?

He remembers hugging him and breathing in that earthy smell, mixed in with that incredibly  _ Martin _ smell that he loves. He remembers reaching on his tip-toes to kiss him, and when Martin lifted him up suddenly.

He remembers sitting on the sofa next to Martin, hearing all about his trip and asking questions and telling him what he'd been up to (not much.)

He remembers it… but were the memories from today? Did he somehow… not notice Martin came home and now he's upset at him for it? Did he forget his husband?

Martin stalked towards the bed and dropped the towel on Jon's lap, interrupting his increasingly frantic thoughts. His confusion was heightened with the fact the towel was much heavier than it should be.

Gingerly, he moves the towel to find the object that had apparently irritated Martin so much. Jon looks up at him in disbelief.

"Two and a half days, and you've already resorted to using the 3-in-1 body wash!" Now that the cat was out of the bag, Martin's face twitched with his theatrics.

Jon let out a sharp breath, " _ god,  _ Martin! I thought I'd done something terrible!"

"You have!"

Jon flung the towel at Martin, who was barely holding himself back from giggling, "don't act like I've done something sacrilegious! It's just  _ body wash!" _

_ "3-in-1 body wash, Jonathan!" _

Jon gave him a look of amused confusion, "what's the problem? It's there to be used, isn't it?"

Martin gave him a scandalised look, "it was in the back of the drawer for a reason! It's emergency only Jon!" 

Jon was lost for words, and just blinked dumbly at Martin.

"Using a 3-in-1 when there's perfectly usable items that aren't a horrific amalgamation that spits in the face of god is a sin against everything we've worked to protect!"

Jon leant back against the headboard, closing his eyes as he tried to keep a smile off his face. He loved his ridiculous husband so much, and the fact they could have these moments was a blessing.

But god he was ridiculous.

"I am ever so sorry, Martin, how could I ever make it up to you?"

"By proving you know how to bathe yourself properly."

Jon opened his eyes, looking at Martin, who was no longer trying to hide his grin, "I- I don't- you  _ know _ I can bathe myself!"

Martin continued grinning deviously, and held his hand out to him. Jon stared back, trying to keep his face impassive.

Martin did not move.

Jon raised his eyebrows.

Martin wiggled his own.

Jon looked around the room.

Martin stayed in place.

Jon sighed.

Martin waggled his fingers enticingly.

Jon reached out, and grabbed his hand, using him as support to stand up, "fine."

Martin leaned down and kissed Jon's cheek, ignoring his grumbling, and held his arm as he supported him to the bathroom.

Jon felt a wave of steam hit him as he got to the doorway, and he saw the bathtub was already filled with soapy water, the foam reaching high over the edge of the tub.

He raised his eyebrows at Martin, "used a bit much of this uh… fluffy stuff?" He tried to keep a grin off his face as he played dumb, Martin laughed and scooped up some foam, smearing it on Jon's nose.

" _ I _ thought it would be a nice way to get all the forest off of me, you know, using soap."

Jon rolled his eyes fondly, somehow.

Martin smiled and tilted his head up, giving him a soft kiss, "now, love, take off those dirty clothes."

Jon gave him an affronted look, "these were clean on today!"

"I wore that shirt on Thursday, and I  _ know _ you haven't done any washing."

Jon paused, then made a non-committal noise and no more protests as Martin lifted the far too big t-shirt off of him.

Once ready, Martin helped him over the ledge of the tub, into the  _ very _ warm water, and instructed him to sit right up at the taps. Jon watched with fondness as Martin placed a couple of towels within reach of the bath, then stripped himself.

"Watch out love," Martin spoke as he climbed in the tub behind Jon, moving slowly as to not splash water over the floor, "here we go." Martin reached forward in the cramped tub, and gently pulled Jon over, an arm wrapped around his waist so his back was pressed against Martin's soft stomach.

Jon hummed contentedly with his eyes closed, it had been a long while since he last had a bath rather than a quick shower, and he'd missed it. Especially because it had also been with Martin.

Martin's free hand was gently pulling water over Jon's shoulders and chest, the only thing keeping him awake was the sharp cold that came from Martin breathing on his wet shoulder.

"Alright, what do you do now?" Martin's teasing voice slid through the steam clogging up Jon's head, and he gave a confused noise, not remembering why they were there. Martin's soft laugh brought a wave of love in his chest.

"I thought you said you knew how to bathe yourself?"

Jon made a small noise of understanding, and struggled to clear his head so he could remember the steps of bathing, instead of just losing himself to the warmth and safety of his love.

Martin was patient, even with his teasing, so he kept quiet as Jon rearranged his thoughts.

"Shampoo." Jon spoke eventually, and Martin's little hum of laughter was included with reaching for said bottle.

He adjusted Jon's position, having him lean his head back so he could pour water over his long, greyed hair without getting it all over his face, and then massaged the shampoo into it, taking his time to drink in the satisfied noises from the other man as he melts into his arms.

They rinse and repeat with the conditioner, and Jon's face was the picture of sleepy contentment.

Martin let him relax for a moment as he washed his own hair, before he reluctantly disturbed Jon, a wet flannel with shower gel on top in his hand.

"Get your front, and I'll do your back." Jon murmured unintelligibly, and took the flannel, washing himself far more sloppily than Martin was, his larger hands rubbing soft circles on Jon's back, massaging his shoulders with a soft smile.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Jon's wet head, and moved to clean himself, less time than he'd spent on Jon, but still managing to be more efficient than him.

Once clean, Martin used his foot to fumble the plug, wasting time to eventually pull the plug and let the tub drain.

Jon let out a disappointed groan as the water drained loudly through the old pipes, and tried to snuggle closer to Martin. Martin though, gently pushed him playfully, and started to stand, his legs felt a bit stiff from being cramped in the tub, but he didn't mind. He draped one of the towels around his shoulders, and helped Jon out of the tub smiling into the soft kiss he gave him as he wrapped the much smaller man in a fluffy towel.

Jon looked ridiculous, and Martin couldn't help watching his tired face as he tried not to fall asleep sat on the lid of the toilet whilst Martin dried himself off. Jon, for his part, floated in and out of registering what he was looking at, one point noting Martin drying his hair, the next he was applying cream to his top surgery scars, the next he was wearing his flannel pyjama bottoms and rubbing a towel in Jon's hair to gently dry it.

Martin dried Jon's hair as best as he could, then tied it into a ponytail in the hopes he wouldn't end up with wet hair plastered to his face as he slept.

Once Jon was dry and the towel removed, Martin took the pyjama top to his trousers, and slid it over Jon's head, helping him put his arms in without bothering to unbutton it.

Dressed and dried, Martin hung the towels up to dry, and led Jon back to their bedroom, all but carrying the sleepy man.

Wrapped up in their duvet, warm and happy, Martin cuddled Jon close, "I'm going to throw out the 3-in-1."

Jon let out a small snort of laughter, he honestly didn't care anymore, although if keeping it meant more baths with Martin…


End file.
